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Are you being abusive?



Does the person you love:


  • Are you extremely jealous of your partner? Are you possessive, jealous of other people in their life, or do you want them only to be with you?
  • Do you criticize your partner and put him/her down for not being the “perfect” husband/wife?
  • Do you have an explosive temper and get easily angry over little things?
  • Do you blame your partner for your problems and feelings?
  • Have you broken things, thrown things, hit, slapped, shoved, punched, kicked or threatened your partner?
  • Do you feel threatened when your partner doesn’t agree to do what you want him/her to do, and feel that you have to force them to do your will?
  • Do you control your partner’s decisions, behavior, or social life?
  • Do you decide where they can go, who they can be with, what they can wear?
  • Are you insecure about yourself? About your relationship?
  • Do you believe that you have to be in control all the time?
  • Do you drink heavily and/or use drugs?
  • Did you experience violence in your family?
  • Do you order your partner around?
  • Do you expect him/her to read your mind, and then get mad when they don’t?


If you recognize any of the above signs, you are being abusive to your partner. Don’t ignore it-- the problem will only get worse. It could lead to your being arrested and sent to jail, and will destroy your relationship unless you are willing to take steps to change.



Resources for batterers in Santa Clara County:


*certified programs


Family Violence Counseling Associates

(408) 246-1507

16-week voluntary programs


Turning Point Counseling & Educational Services*

(408) 739-2171



Proyecto Primavera*

(408) 278-9031



Center for Human Development*

(408) 984-7293

Cantonese/English/Hearing Impaired/Gay men


Domestic Violence Counseling & Intervention*

(408) 261-5890



Community Psychotherapy Institute*

(408) 261-5893

Adult, family & child counseling



Get help now to stop hurting those you love before it’s too late.


“The Ripple Effect has quickened me to move forward in helping women. It is breaking the silence in the church and defends those who cannot speak for themselves. I believe it is a voice that confronts the powers that be where silence has hidden the destruction of women.”

—a community member
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“The Ripple Effect is a non-profit organization dedicated to the prevention of domestic violence. We believe that everyone deserves a life free from abuse.”


Copyright © 2008 The Ripple Effect

PO Box 36106 . San Jose, CA 95158

Telephone: (408) 225-2381 . Fax: (866) 696-3789